


hola bonita tienes msn

by meretricula



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Baby Dream Team, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-23
Updated: 2010-11-23
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meretricula/pseuds/meretricula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Cesc and Pique attempt to educate Leo about the joys of social media.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hola bonita tienes msn

"Ce-eeeeeesc," Pique yelled into his phone. He was maybe, possibly, just a little bit drunk. Or maybe not at all; it was hard to tell with Pique sometimes. "Cesc, you little bitch, I miss you! Come home!"

"Fuck you," Cesc replied cheerfully. "I want to talk to Leo, give Leo the phone!"

"What the fucking hell, it's my phone! If you want to talk to Leo call him!"

"Leeeeeeeeeo!" Cesc shouted, loud enough that his voice was tinnily audible to everyone in the back of the bus. Puyol looked up for a second, rolled his eyes and went back to texting his girlfriend. Victor glanced back and glared, and settled Andres more securely on his shoulder, even though he was fast asleep and clearly not at all disturbed by the noise. "Leo, come talk to me!" A few rows ahead, Bojan smacked Leo in the head until he gave up on trying to talk to Masche and got up. "Leoooooooooo where are you I looooooooove you," Cesc caroled.

"You're a dick and you're on speaker phone," Pique informed him.

"You liar, Leo wouldn't ignore me!" Cesc said indignantly.

"Um. Hi, Cesc," Leo mumbled. He slid into the seat beside Pique. "You don't have to yell."

"Of course I have to yell, you're _Lionel Messi_! Oh my god, can I have your autograph?" Cesc mock-squealed.

"I'll sign my game-day jersey and airmail it straight to you," Leo said. "I won't even wash it, the smell makes it more authentic."

"You gave your jersey away after the match," Pique pointed out.

"Oh, Leo, how could you? You promised me your signed sweaty jersey and then you gave it away?" Cesc wailed.

"I'll get another one dirty just for you," Leo deadpanned.

"You _do_ love me!" Cesc said happily. And loudly. Victor twisted around to look at Leo and Pique again with murder in his eyes.

"If you two don't keep it down and let Andres sleep I'm going to gag you with my socks," he said, voice low and even, and turned back without waiting for a response. Pique reflexively hit _end call_. Leo winced and pulled his Blackberry out of his pocket.

 _cesc victors mad abt noise call u back l8r ok?_

Pique leaned over his shoulder to read Cesc's message when his Blackberry chimed a few seconds later. _aww victor's mad? what did u do 2 andres?_

"Tell him we didn't do anything!" Pique whispered indignantly. "He's the loud one."

"You're pretty loud too, Geri," Leo said, typing. _nothing but andres is sleeping so we cant be loud_

 _is he napping on victor? cuuuuuute! take a pic, put it on twitter!_

Leo frowned. _the fuck is a twiter?_

Pique cracked up. "Oh man, that's a good one! Cesc's totally going to - wait, wait. You're kidding, right?"

"What?" Leo said blankly. His Blackberry buzzed, and he hit _accept call_ without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Are you fucking serious, my god, do you even know what the internet is, you utter _troglodyte_ ," Cesc said, apparently without pausing to take a breath.

"What?" Leo repeated.

Cesc made a noise that sounded a little like a teakettle when it boiled. "How can you not know what Twitter is! It's, like, really popular! You should have one!"

"He just thinks that because _he's_ got one," Pique said, just loudly enough that Cesc could hear him, and hopefully Victor couldn't. "You should get one, though. Or a Facebook account or something. They're good for telling the fans what you're doing, or whatever. Like, you post about your day or what you had for breakfast or pictures of training, and everybody can see."

"The fans already know what I'm doing," Leo said. "I'm playing football. Why would they want to know what I had for breakfast?"

"Because you're _Leo Messi_ , asshole," Cesc said. "They probably want to know what you think about when you jerk off, too."

"That - that - Cesc Fabregas, shut the hell up!" Leo squeaked. "That isn't anybody's business!"

Pique grinned and ruffled Leo's hair with one of his huge paws. "Aww, don't worry, we'll protect you from the crazy fans. You don't really have to read anything they post about you anyway. Seriously, you should get a Facebook account, I'll be your Facebook friend!"

"What the hell, no, he should get a Twitter," Cesc said.

"Normal people have Facebook. Leo's always going on about how he wants to be normal, he should have a Facebook," Pique argued. Leo listened in silence, his Blackberry held up to the ear closer to Pique, and vaguely wondered if he even needed to be present for this conversation. Maybe he could give his Blackberry to Pique and go back to sit with Javier.

"I have a Twitter! Andres has a Twitter! Puyi has a Twitter! _Carlota_ has a Twitter," Cesc added, smugly throwing down his trump card.

"Man, you know I love your sister, but she's not what I'd call _normal_."

"Awww, you _love_ her," Cesc cooed, then added abruptly, "If you ever so much as look at my sister anything but pure intentions I will chop off your balls and throw them in the Thames. I'm serious, Gerard, _I will kill you_."

"Jesus Christ, Cesc, she's your sister," Pique said. "She's my sister too."

"Well," Cesc said. "Good."

The awkward silence that followed was even more awkward for Leo, stuck between Cesc and Pique but still somehow left out. It had always been like that, really, since he came to La Masia from Argentina and met them for the first time - Cesc and Gerard came as a package deal even then. Leo didn't mind really, and he had his own friends that had nothing to do with either of them, but it was strange now that it was just him and Pique most of the time. Cesc was still there, but he was never really _there_. "Anyway, Leo, you should get a Twitter," Cesc said at last. "I'll show you how to set it up if you want. It's fun. You can tweet people - it's like texting, except everybody can see it. I'll tweet you."

"I'd rather talk to your face," Leo said quietly. He was looking away, into the aisle, and jumped when Pique wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

"Leo," Cesc said, and stopped. He sounded - wounded, almost. Like he'd just lost a game. Like he might cry. Leo felt guilty for a moment - Pique nagged Cesc all the time about being so far away, but that was just joking; it wasn't like this - but he wasn't going to lie about how he felt to make Cesc feel better. "Leo, I miss you too."

"Good," Pique said firmly. He took Leo's Blackberry with his free hand, and left his arm around Leo, warm and heavy. "Because we miss you a lot. Now go win your league so you can come home already. Don't worry about Leo, I'm looking after him."

"I can look after myself, thanks," Leo said, more as a formality than anything else. He couldn't hear if Cesc was saying something to Gerard, but Gerard just grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"Of course you can, you're Lionel Messi," he said fondly. "Cesc, talk to you later, okay? Victor might actually kill us soon. Yeah, yeah, I know." He put the Blackberry back to Leo's ear.

"Bye, Cesc," Leo said.

"Next time I'm home I'll come over and help you get a Twitter set up, okay?" Cesc said quickly.

Leo smiled. "If you really want to."

"I do."

"Okay, then."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye, Cesc," Leo repeated. He took the Blackberry back from Pique and put it into his pocket, and let Pique yank him so close he was almost in his lap, head tucked under Pique's chin. Leo made the executive decision not to be embarrassed by the fact that half the team had probably heard their conversation and they all could definitely see him if they looked back, and relaxed. Nobody was going to be an asshole about it in training or anything; even the guys who'd never met Cesc understood that much.

"He'll come home soon," Pique said.

"I know." Leo closed his eyes. He wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was about as good as a bus ride was going to get, and he was tired. If he listened, he could hear the faithful thump-thump of Pique's heart under his ear lulling him to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. [Cesc's twitter](http://twitter.com/#!/cesc4official)
> 
> 2\. [Pique's facebook](http://www.facebook.com/3GerardPique)
> 
> 3\. title is from the twitter of Gonzalo Higuain. in-joke, don't ask me to explain.


End file.
